Mentoring Relationships Build a solid relationship with a formal or informal business advisor.
by Michele Janson
Mentoring relationships come in a variety of flavors. You may be in a formal mentoring program or just have an informal relationship with a trusted advisor. Your relationship with an advisor may be so informal that you hesitate to even call it mentoring. Whatever your situation, there are several key common components to all successful mentoring relationships.
Mentoring is a facilitative learning process, relationship and role, and an active partnership benefiting from the cumulative experiences of all involved. A mentoring relationship is most successful when there is a completely open and honest environment, mutual respect, clear and shared expectations and an understanding of each participant’s role and responsibilities.
It is the protégé’s responsibility to own the relationship. The mentor is there to act as a coach and sounding board, not to run your business and make decisions for you. Personal chemistry obviously plays a role in successful relationships, but being matched with someone who has differing views from you may offer the most growth in the shortest amount of time.
The Helzberg Entrepreneurial Mentoring Program has identified four key characteristics of a positive mentoring relationship:
Good Communication. The mentor and protégé must share and agree upon patterns of work and preferred communication styles to ensure that communication is consistent, understood and useful.
Building Trust. The mentoring relationship is built on a common ground that fosters trust between the individuals.
Matching Expectations. The mentor and protégé must have mutual understanding and agreement of the expectations of each other’s role in the relationship, and the areas of focus for short-term and long-term business deliverables and personal developmental goals.
Measurement and Feedback. Together the mentor and protégé must establish ways to measure success of the relationship and progress towards agreed upon expectations and deliverables.
The first step in developing a meaningful mentoring relationship is for both parties to take a good look at themselves and determine what they really want from a mentoring relationship. Experience has shown that mentors and protégés who dive right into business issues are not as successful as individuals who spend upfront time understanding each other and how to best make the relationship work.
Suggested topics to discuss early in the relationship include:
Reasons why the mentor is volunteering time
What the protégé and mentor hope to get out of the relationship
Components of a relationship that are important to each of you
Preferred methods and logistics of communication, including business and personal schedules, best times to reach each other, preference of meeting vs. e-mail, telephone or a combination of all, and parameters on contacting each other at home
Discussing these topics upfront will help to break the ice and provide a solid footing to continue through the meatier issues, which you will certainly encounter. Communication There are several ways to foster communication. A mentor can create opportunities for short communications between meetings by forwarding news articles of interest or asking the protégé for advice. The mentor needs to demonstrate that the door is always open.
The protégé needs to take the initiative to ask questions and share accomplishments. The mentor has offered to help, so don’t be star-struck and too shy to call or send e-mail between meetings. If the mentor is busy, they will tell you. Let your mentor know that you want them to be aware of key events. Much of your mentor’s “psychic income” is hearing your reports.
Trust Building trust does not just happen; it must be consciously and consistently worked on. It is a gradual process of consistent reaffirming behaviors over time. Some of the behaviors to consider are:
Confidentiality—affirm and reaffirm this rule
Openness—including your own shortcomings
Willingness to share—prove that you trust first
Non-judgmental—unconditional positive regard
Belief in each other—consistently keeping your promises
Matching Expectations The mentor and protégé can usually function better if they have a mutual understanding and agreement on the expectations of each other’s role in the relationship and the areas of focus for short-term and long-term business deliverables. Written deliverables do provide a basis for tracking progress, and some find this enhances the overall satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment in the relationship.
Measurement and Feedback Measuring the success of the relationship can be as formal as tracking progress toward a specific goal or as informal as checking in with each other to determine that you are accomplishing what you want to accomplish, and determining whether there are things in the relationship that could be more satisfying if done differently.
Regardless of the method used, it is critical that you are accountable for the action items that you promised to do. At the end of each meeting, make sure that you both know what you have agreed to work on before you meet again.
Final Thoughts Mentoring can take many forms and you must decide which approach is right for you. Above all, take every opportunity to ask for advice because so many people are willing to help. Mentoring relationships require commitment, care and feeding. The benefits reaped, however, are endless and well worth the time and energy.
Michele Janson is executive director of the Helzberg Entrepreneurial Mentoring Program (HEMP), which matches seasoned, successful entrepreneurs with less experienced entrepreneur protégés. For more information, call (816) 235-6125 or send an e-mail to .
