by Brian Sullivan

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.
~ Henry David Thoreau

What is it about compliments? Why is it that when someone tells us they love what we’re wearing (rare in my case), like the new hairdo (even rarer) or appreciate something we did at work, our first reaction is to wince, maybe blush and act skeptical … as if we weren’t worthy of it or don’t believe they mean it?  We often respond with, “Oh, thanks, but this shirt is actually three sizes too small.” “They actually cut my hair shorter than I wanted.” Or, “The project actually fell short of my expectations.” Compliments are meant to make people feel good, but they actually make many people uncomfortable.

So what do we do with people who don’t know how to take a compliment?

I know! Ask them great questions and let them talk. And then listen intently to what they’re saying. I believe the greatest fundamental need we all have is to be heard. When we are heard, we feel significant. And if we feel significant, we feel GOOD. So if the objective in paying compliments is to make someone feel good, perhaps the best way is to get them to open up and share what they think and feel.

This week, ask a few extra “question-induced” compliments around the workplace with customers and peers. They’ll feel good, and you will become smarter. Oh, and when the weekend hits, don’t forget to tell someone you love just how nice they look…whether THEY like it or not!

To listen to Brian’s radio interview of Dianna Booher, well known author of 43 books on communications, go to www.preciseselling.com/Radio.htm. You can visit Brian at www.preciseselling.com.