THE BOOK MARK

The Art of Negotiation
Emotions no longer have to take a back seat to reason.

By Jean Zimmerman

The GO Connection and Missouri Women’s Business Center have started a monthly book group to review business-improvement books. During the first meeting at the downtown Kansas City library, the group had a lively discussion about the book Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro.

Main Points
As with all things connected to business, the authors stress preparation as the key to a successful negotiation. This preparation includes knowing as much as you can about your counterparts and the subject matter to be discussed. Establishing rapport with people is crucial, and is easier to do the more you know about them.

The book is organized around the “Five Core Concerns”:
•    Appreciation. Are your thoughts, feelings and actions devalued or acknowledged?
•    Affiliation. Are you treated as an adversary or a colleague?
•    Autonomy. Is your freedom to make decisions impinged upon or respected?
•    Status. Is your standing given the recognition it deserves?
•    Role. Is your current role and its activities fulfilling?

The pages are filled with examples of how these core concerns are played out in negotiations large and small. Practical suggestions are given on how to approach situations and how to word tricky messages. One of the challenges the book presents is that it is incumbent upon each of us to look at these core concerns from the other person’s point of view, regardless of whether they are looking at ours.

The group generally agreed that the book’s approach was refreshing. We have been told for too long in too many situations to leave our emotions at the door. Admitting that emotions are never really left at the door is a great way to have a more honest discussion about how to deal with people.

Business Applications
We completed our discussion by examining how the principles in the book could be applied to several situations group members are currently facing. “She needs acknowledgement” and “validate his role” were parroted as we demonstrated how easy it is to apply what we had read to our professional and personal lives.

In many ways, the book is about basic manners. If we are sensitive to and respectful of people and the things they care about, we will do a much better job of navigating through our days. It is always good to step back and think about how we are dealing with people in the myriad of situations in which we find ourselves.

Takeaways
After reading the book, try keeping the five core concerns on a note card in your planner and review them before meetings.

Join us for the next Business Book Forum. Hashing over new ideas and information with fellow entrepreneurs is rewarding. Our next meeting will be April 6 at the Plaza Library from 5:30 to 7 p.m. We will provide light refreshments to tide you over till dinner. We will be discussing Small Giants, Companies That Choose to Be Great Instead of Big by Bo Burlingham.

Jean Zimmerman is the executive director of the Missouri Women’s Business Center.