By Troy Harrison

"Hello, I'm 'John Doe' with 'XYZ Company.' I sell widgets. We're not experts in this field, and I don't know if anyone is." So started an infomercial that I heard at a recent speed-networking event.

I don't know if my jaw actually dropped, or if it just felt like it did. I couldn't stop wondering how he expected anyone to buy from him, or even be excited about giving him referrals, if his opening comment was on his lack of expertise in his chosen field. As it turned out, I didn't see anyone who was particularly excited. He spent most of his morning wandering the room by himself.

An old friend of mine used to refer to this as "shyness tripping," sort of an opposite of ego-tripping. In her mind, shyness tripping happened because someone was so afraid of criticism, they decided to readily self-deprecate before anyone else could criticize them.

In one's personal life, this isn't the greatest strategy; in business, it's fatal. Nobody wants to do business with people who don't know what they're doing-especially if they admit to it. I'm sure that the person who delivered this infomercial mistakenly thought that humility would make him attractive to other business partners. Read on to see what traits really do make you attractive to potential referral partners.

Confidence
Shyness tripping repels people because they don't want to be dragged down with you. Confidence attracts people who believe that your upward mobility can rub off on them, or that you can be a profitable business partner. About what should you be confident? Be confident about your expertise, for one. Know your business and your work, and don't be afraid to communicate it. Your ability to produce positive results with those that surround you is another point of confidence. In any group environment, you can tell those that have "it" and those that don't. That "it" is usually confidence.

Success
At one time, there was an ethic that you should downplay or disguise your own success in business. The thought was that people don't want to think that you make more money than they do. I'm here to tell you that this is the wrong way to go about it. Portray yourself as the least successful person at a networking event, and it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you can't produce success and profit for yourself, you can't do it for anyone else.

Professionalism
Your own personal image matters. I'm not referring to "attractive" or "unattractive"  I'm referring to personal dress and grooming habits. Dress professionally, groom carefully, look up-to-date (no 1970s pompadours or comb-overs, thanks). And, this is big: do not marinate in cologne. That scent that you think attracts people has just as much chance of repelling them.

Preparedness
At these events, you'll always see people who didn't bring enough business cards (even though they have been instructed to bring a certain amount) or who didn't bother to practice their infomercial. Don't be that person. Being on your game at these events means that you are able to make the best use of your allotted speaking time, and that your presentation is clear and effective. Look unprepared, and you will not be attractive to business partners.

Courtesy
This should be basic, but it's apparently not. At every event, I see people who go well beyond their allotted time or who interrupt others with comments. I also see those who arrive late, take too much time during breaks, etc. Exercise your best courtesy at all times.

The difference between someone others would like to do business with and someone others avoid like the plague isn't impossible to achieve. It isn't even tough. It's just a matter of being a pro and showing it. Do these things and you won't be wandering around like the guy wondering what he has to do to get a referral.

Troy Harrison is the author of Sell Like You Mean It-Outselling Your Competitors By Understanding Your Customers, and the owner of SalesForce Solutions, a Kansas City-based sales training and consulting company. You can get more information about SalesForce Solutions and subscribe to the free "HotSheet" weekly e-zine by visiting www.salesforcesolutions.net or by calling (913) 645-3603.