Being on the Court
When it comes to leadership, do you simply talk a good game—or actually have what it takes to volley?

By Marty Stanley

Frankly, I think we’ve heard enough comparisons about sports and success in business or in life. In fact, I recently attended a presentation on how boys and girls play differently, and how they subsequently approach work differently as adults. “Duh.”

But there was one analogy that I found amusing and insightful, which had to do with who controls the whistle in a game. Little boys want to know who has it, how to get it and how to keep it. Little girls, according to the research, want to know who has the whistle, does the right person have the whistle and are they using it appropriately. And, they often wonder, “Is it worth it to have the whistle, after all?”

This analogy reminded me of a painful experience I had several years ago while attending a 10-day intensive leadership development program. While I wasn’t like little girls who cared who had the whistle, or if they used it correctly, I did get to see how this “little girl” played; and it was not a pretty sight.

As part of the training program, the 13 participants were required to play volleyball every day at 7 a.m. The seven men and six women were divided into two teams and told that we would play on the same team for the next nine days. We each also had to place $100 on the final game. The team that won on the last day got the $1,300.

Over the course of the next couple days, I saw my true colors as a leader and team player, and it was shocking. (In fact, there were so many lessons, I’ll share one this month and a few more next month.)

Day One: I informed my team I had a childhood wrist injury that prevented me from playing sports such as this. So, I’d never played volleyball and didn’t know the rules. But being a good team player, I said: “You’ll need to cover for me.” (I actually said this!)

Day Two: Like a good sport, I waited for the ball to come to me. Fortunately, my team covered for me.

Day Three: I was being lazy and touched the ball to keep it from going out of bounds so I wouldn’t have to run after it. The referee called the ball “in play.”

“WHAT? But I didn’t know the rules! I didn’t know I couldn’t touch it!”

Now here’s the worst part of this shocking story: Because I didn’t know the rules, not only did my teammates protest the call, but the other team did too.

Am I the only one who sees this sad state of affairs for what it is?

Here I am at a leadership development program, and what kind of leader am I being, anyway? One who is a slacker and a goof-off. One who could cost my teammates the chance of winning $1,300, because I’ve chosen not to learn the rules or really participate; expecting my teammates to cover for me.

“YIKES!”

Now, I will say that my teammates felt I contributed to the team in a leadership role in other ways, including motivation and cohesiveness. But to me, the fundamentals were so glaringly missing: What good is it to show up, but not know the rules, or even try?

To say that I was distressed and disappointed in myself is an understatement. But I had six days to redeem myself — even if only in my own eyes. So I made a plea for help.

Days Four through Nine: A couple of the guys would meet me at 6:30 a.m. to review rules, practice hand-eye coordination and hitting the ball so as not to traumatize my wrist.

They also agreed not to cover for me.

That, by itself, was a huge step for all of us. I had to be a player. I had to really put myself out there, and they had to trust that I would. They couldn’t jump in and cover for me. Now we could really lose the game. The boys had the whistle and I might lose it. (This now became a lesson in leadership for them!)

So here’s the coaching for the month:
You didn’t really think I’d tell you the ending, did you?! You’ll have to wait until next month.

Where in your life do you talk a good game, but are really a slacker? Be honest. Are there areas in your work or life where you’re showing up but not really participating, and expecting others will cover for you?

Even if no one notices, you know. Your personal integrity is at stake. Isn’t that enough?

Marty Stanley is a certified business and life coach. She works with business leaders and their teams to put the structures in place to increase personal, professional and organizational effectiveness and get results. She can be reached at (816) 822-4047 or .