What to do When It’s Time to Hit the Highway

By Marty Stanley

Knowing when to go is one of the hardest things a person faces in their professional life. And it doesn’t matter if you’re in a small or large company, or even a business owner. Some people actively look for a new position or business opportunity to avoid being unemployed or unhappy in their old position. And there are many people who wait for the decision to be made for them—by being fired or laid off, or running their business into the ground.

Then there’s a whole slew of people who are somewhere in between. They don’t want to leave or sell, and they don’t want to look for a new position; while they are miserable, they’re also optimistic. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? But trust me, there are a lot of people in this category.

They’re not the ones who have “quit and stayed”—those people who have mentally quit their jobs but continue to show up, at peace with doing the minimum expected.

The group I’m talking about is different. They plug away hoping things will change. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. I’ve had clients in this situation, and I understand it because I’ve been there myself. Have you been (or are you now) one of these people? Here’s how it works:
Typically you’ve invested a lot of yourself in the company. You’ve held important roles and have been rewarded for your contributions. You take pride in your work and your organization.

Then things change. The leadership or ownership changes, or perhaps, a new board of directors is installed. Or, maybe you’ve just lost the passion for the business. Suddenly, you’ve gone from being the star to old news or a has-been. You go from being in power to being powerless. The new guard is in place. The new leaders want to create a new future, and you aren’t part of it.

Many years ago, I was selected for a management rotation for high potential officers of my company. I was assigned to a “rising star” senior vice president who had terminated 18 people in less than a year. I remember thinking, “This is a reward?” I was miserable. I had been banished to the outback.

As awful and as unfair as it seemed, it was time for me to go, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I was hopeful things would change. But the handwriting was on the wall. I had a great run of more than 11 years, and the new regime was taking over. I didn’t like them, and they didn’t like me. It was time to go. But how does one leave with dignity and confidence?

I know many people say not to leave a job until you have another confirmed. If that works, great; but sometimes it takes a bold move to leave before another job is landed. Sometimes, diving in without a life preserver is the right move, because quality of life, confidence and self-esteem are more important. People who have done this report feeling energized and alive—even with the uncertainty—because they don’t feel oppressed and trapped anymore.

So here’s the coaching for the month:
If you have invested your heart and soul into your work or business and find that you’re no longer on the A-team, or you don’t have your old passion and energy, don’t be surprised if you feel betrayed, let down or confused. There are some important things to keep in mind and steps you can take to regain your self-confidence for your next position.
1.    Don’t expect anyone to rescue or protect you. When there are changes in leadership, remember that everyone is going to be looking out for him or herself. Don’t expect a guardian angel. Your future is your responsibility.
2.    Deal with the disappointment, sadness and betrayal, then get on with your life. The longer you harbor those emotions, the harder it will be to move on.
Here are some tips for moving on:
•    First, write down all your sadness, disappointment and betrayals. Wail away. Grieve the loss. Write until you can’t stand it one minute longer. Write it. Don’t discuss it except with trained professionals.
•    Then look back and see if there’s any hint of Blaming others, making Excuses for yourself or Denying your role in the current situation. Get out of “BED” and commit to taking ownership and accountability for your future. Don’t leave it to others.
•    Next, write your accomplishments in your previous roles so you can be present to all the good things you’ve done. Don’t lose sight of that.
•    Be strong and healthy—commit to being emotionally and physically strong during this process by reading or listening to empowering books and tapes. Exercise to clear your mind and stimulate creativity, and hang out with supportive people.

Bottom line? Trust your gut. You’ll know when it’s time to go.