Real connections come from true, heart-felt and honest interactions.
By Jill Lublin
Something strange happens to many women when they approach networking opportunities. They suddenly forget how to connect, simply going through the motions of shaking hands and exchanging business cards. Networking becomes a chore, part of a business plan that is carried out with apprehension and some degree of loathing. It doesn't have to be this way. Networking magic happens through your connections; and your connections are what create a fulfilling life.
Your First Step—Start With Your Heart Real connections come from true, heart-felt and honest interactions. Shed your business persona and be yourself. If you've got a line drawn between your personal and business connections, erase that line. Start connecting with others as if each person might end up as your best friend. The formula for connecting from your heart is simple: You'll like who you're being and you'll naturally attract like-minded, quality people. People you meet are more likely to introduce you to their friends and associates if they like you.
Honest curiosity and vulnerability are key. Intimate connections are the foundation upon which we build satisfied lives, and the best connections are heart-centered connections. Don't think for a minute that success in business requires a stoic business persona. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Maintain an Attitude of Service Great connections are the ultimate life and business builders, and all great connections are based on a positive attitude of serving. Sure, you can't stay in business for long if you give everything away, but there's a fascinating paradox: The more you give, the more you get.
Approach each interaction with an eye toward providing service. Find out what people need, and if you can't provide the answers, then steer them toward someone you know. You're not giving your business away, but you are always thinking of ways you can be of service to others. A service-oriented attitude is perhaps the most magical networking tool available. You'll be amazed at how swiftly and abundantly it comes back your way.
It's Not Who You Know, It's Who Knows You Those with the largest database of business cards don't necessarily win. Unless you've honestly connected with the most influential people in your database, having their names will do you little good. Put your energy toward creating close connections with those who can have the most positive influence in your life. And, don't limit your search to business connections.
Think in terms of how you can help these people; by connecting them with others you know, by providing a unique service or simply by being a friend. Make yourself available and they'll respond in kind when you're in need. Ask yourself, "Who are the most influential people in my industry? Who are the people with whom I'd most like to associate?" Then, start developing strategies to meet those people. What's most important is to connect with those who are most like how you want to be. And don't for a moment believe that some people are out of your reach. Aim high and you'll reach high.
Connecting Isn't a Solo Trip Great networking isn't about out-maneuvering your competition. Those who are best at networking think in terms of collaboration, not competition, even with their fiercest competitors. How might two or three of you band together to provide products or services to more high-end, high-paying customers? How can you enlist the help of people around the globe in your R&D efforts?
Connecting, by its very nature, is collaborative. Instead of collecting business cards and sending out brochures, seek out people with whom you might collaborate and build strong connections. You might meet someone with a brilliant idea who's looking for a partner with your expertise. Or, you might form a mastermind group to brainstorm innovative ways to improve your businesses while holding each other accountable for implementing these new ideas. Best of all, you'll create new friendships that will enrich your life.
10 Quick Tips for Successful Connecting Keep the following tips in mind as you venture out into the wonderful world of networking. Hundreds, if not thousands of new friends await you. 1. Connection begins within, so start from your heart. 2. Build a personal support system to help you stay focused. 3. Remember that your connections benefit everyone. 4. Connect for the long term, but allow for changes. Not all connections are for a lifetime. 5. Start from where you are and take it step-by-step. 6. Aim high. 7. Do your research, and be ready when you meet with the people on your list. 8. Be vulnerable, personal and your "unique self." 9. Be open to possibility. 10. Give, give, give.
Jill Lublin is an internationally acclaimed speaker and best-selling author of the books, Guerrilla Publicity and Networking Magic. She is the CEO of Promising Promotion, a strategic consulting firm, and founder of GoodNews Media Inc. Lublin hosts the nationally syndicated radio show Do the Dream, has a TV show called The Connecting Minute, and is working on her third book, Heart Wired. You can reach her at (415) 883-5455 or .
